Flickers of love

ברוך אתה ה' אלוקינו מלך העולם שעשנו כרצנו

 Praised are you god our king of the world for you have made me as you willed.

 This bracha has always infuriated me to no end

not because of its meaning which is quite beautiful but because this is the blessing women say every morning,

while men instead say ברוך אתה ה' אלוקני מלך העולם שלא עשני אשה 
Blessed are you god kind of the world for not making me a woman I mean excuse me?

The men are saying a blessing for not being a woman? They really think they are holier than thou? Do woman not count in Judaism? Are our tasks in life THAT bad that men thank god for not being a different gender?

Those questions/statements always bothered me to a point where I resented things in Judaism.

Why are the men given more mitzvot?

Are we not capable of serving God? 

Are woman sentenced to be housewives ans caregivers?

 Can we  not serve god like the men do?

 The answer is no we cannot do all those things.

But don't pull out your feministic claws yet I am not bashing my people.

We cannot do what the men do because we do different, better.

We are the spiritual butterflies in this physical world. 
We fly high to god connecting to our father with just a Few words 

But that is not our purpose in life. In reality we can be whoever we want in this life. Whether it be a construction worker, teacher, doctor, truck driver or writers. But by nature we healers, we are spiritual souls. we are compassionate, we nurture and provide comfort.  And we are mothers .

Today while saying the bracha I stopped for a minute and thought about the meaning of the words for making me as you willed, god knew I was capable of handling the emotional ups and downs of being a woman. God knew I’d rock the role of being a compassionate wife.

 I imagined for a second being a man and blessing god for not making me a woman,

 And then I felt a tiny flicker inside and looked down at my growing bump, instantly filled with a surge of love.

 No I'd never change my reality for the world.

This is my destiny.