The Intersection

Just found this poem written in the third trimester of my pregnancy!

I cannot believe my precious liora will soon be 4 months old! 

Thank you hashem.

Sitting here

Where it all began

Watching the rain

Pour onto the land

peaceful  melodies lifting my soul

my energy feels whole

sitting here

watching people of all race

trying to relax

serenity on many a face

sitting here

not looking back

just toward

thinking about the mnths to come, looking forward

my  life has been reviewed in my mind many a time

yet never has it been such a perfect rhyme

the climax’s and clichés of the past

were so that we can get here at last

 while the skies open up

and outside people scatter

my smile is waiting for a different pitter patter

of the tiny heart, beating within.

<3 <3 <3 

Birthday wishes

The best blessing one can give,
To commemorate the day they where born.
Are the right  tools to face many a storm.

When the rain pours may you learn to dance.
When hard times come,
May you stand tall.
May you have a companion,
For the snow fall.

May your heart be whole,
and your belly full.
May your smile be radiant,
and your aura peace.

May you have strength for clouds of grey.
May you have courage to face each day.
When the naysayers bring u down,
May your punch be strong to knock them out.

And when the sun will shine and heat your face.
When flowers and fresh air will embrace,
When the winds will sing a musical song,
May your entire being sing along.

When the world is rights and things go your way.
Always remember what you are to say.

THANK YOU
thanks to you to me to her
Thanks to tour friends lovers and haters.
Above all thanks to you creator!

So thank you chaya for allowing me to teach,
As you know my favorite thing is to preach!

preach

You see, the world from an ants point of view
A few flies look like an entire zoo
Open  your eyes too all that's around
listen to those unheard sounds

Pay attention to what you don't normally see
smile, to those in misery.
Escape the walls of your reality
Understand how grateful you ought to be.

So many hurting, sick, doing time.
So many wearing masks so they seem fine
Cowering In the brokenness of their heart
Yearning for an opportunity, a new start.

Have you got a roof over your head?
Reason to get out of bed?
The heart you carry is it whole?
Are you satisfied with your current role?

So many have lost their chance
Homless in the streets
But they do dance
Collecting pennies to by some food
Bet you'd never know by their jolly mood.

But you worry about your third world problems
For your penthouse you can't afford rent.
Who cares if the world is at war
You mourn the closing of your favorite store.

I wonder when you all will open your eyes
When you will all realize,
I'm speaking to you, to him, to all.
yet my words on deaf ears fall.

All I used to be

I used to sneak around the house when I came home late
Now I tiptoe so my baby won't wake
Sundays where a day to lounge and rest
I now spend my time cleaning everybody's mess

I used to pull all nighters just for the thrill
My fun nights now Include cuddles Netflix and chill
Always prided myself in my spontaneity
At the moment I can barely control my vanity


I used to worry about the future and past
Now I barely have time for that
I used to be impatient and selfish
My loved ones are everything now, who I constantly miss.

I used to go to sleep alone
My number one companion was my phone
My heart once empty,  now is full
My constant frown turned upside down
(Thanks to my family)I am the happiest luckiest overtired mama in town.

New journeys

Being a mom has taught me to be selfless
Taught me to give without expecting in return
Taught me to push myself even
Caused me to say 'I got this' at times when i felt like falling apart

Being a mom has introduced a new love to me
It's a rush of love that comes at random moments usually accompanied with happy tears
Being a mom has made me face my fears

  Being a mom has brought out a soft side in me
A side I never new could be reality    
Being a mom has turned me into a better person

And when she smiles her big toothless smile at me
I rejoice in my new mom identify

broken butterflies

She is broken
&  cannot see
A fog obscures reality
A lock on her good memory
Only worries about what can be

She is hurting
And in distress
Crippled by her past
Her wings have torn apart
 By the burden of her broken heart

She is fragile
& so very weak
Pale & ghostly
She cannot speak

She is mocked
A subject of scorn
Her confidence blocked
By regret for the day she was born

She would like
To piece herself together
But has lost the direction
God please help her
Give my lost butterfly some love and protection

little one

Dear little one
my sweet love child
I look forward to meeting you
and kissing your face
to shower you with love
your little body, to embrace.

dear little sweetie
we have grown so much together
you changed me and daddy
and for that you i treasure

god has bonded us
into a unity of one
and with your presence
three musketeers we become

for you are the only one
that knows my heart beat from within,
that hears my voice through all emotions
that feels my love, my undying devotion.

I wish god would grant me
with a wish for this new year
and allow me the honor
of starting the year as a mother

but whatever is in gods plan
is OK with me
I simply cannot wait
to meet my lil baby <3

Weighed down

When you're feeling low,
frusterated to no end
Remember the one watching is yous friend
when you're down
words, your mouth cannot speak
 Look beyond your troubles
and the holy one go seek

Although its challenging, to see the right in wrong
always remember who brought this all along
Like a bad moment can happen just like that
So too the good will come, and put you back on track.

Comfort Zone

When we go through a change

We must open ourselves up

To all the possibilities around us

When the future becomes unpredictable

What was clear to see is blinded

You must let go of the fear

Holding you back

Choking you

Keeping you off track

It must not be in your control

Do not climb into your inner hole

Of self doubt and worry

let it happen

Embrace the spontaneity

Live in the moment of the glorious unknown

Take that first step out of your comfort zone

Flickers of love

ברוך אתה ה' אלוקינו מלך העולם שעשנו כרצנו

 Praised are you god our king of the world for you have made me as you willed.

 This bracha has always infuriated me to no end

not because of its meaning which is quite beautiful but because this is the blessing women say every morning,

while men instead say ברוך אתה ה' אלוקני מלך העולם שלא עשני אשה 
Blessed are you god kind of the world for not making me a woman I mean excuse me?

The men are saying a blessing for not being a woman? They really think they are holier than thou? Do woman not count in Judaism? Are our tasks in life THAT bad that men thank god for not being a different gender?

Those questions/statements always bothered me to a point where I resented things in Judaism.

Why are the men given more mitzvot?

Are we not capable of serving God? 

Are woman sentenced to be housewives ans caregivers?

 Can we  not serve god like the men do?

 The answer is no we cannot do all those things.

But don't pull out your feministic claws yet I am not bashing my people.

We cannot do what the men do because we do different, better.

We are the spiritual butterflies in this physical world. 
We fly high to god connecting to our father with just a Few words 

But that is not our purpose in life. In reality we can be whoever we want in this life. Whether it be a construction worker, teacher, doctor, truck driver or writers. But by nature we healers, we are spiritual souls. we are compassionate, we nurture and provide comfort.  And we are mothers .

Today while saying the bracha I stopped for a minute and thought about the meaning of the words for making me as you willed, god knew I was capable of handling the emotional ups and downs of being a woman. God knew I’d rock the role of being a compassionate wife.

 I imagined for a second being a man and blessing god for not making me a woman,

 And then I felt a tiny flicker inside and looked down at my growing bump, instantly filled with a surge of love.

 No I'd never change my reality for the world.

This is my destiny.